The True Meaning of Fortitude
From ages 14-18 years old I went to an all girls Catholic Private College Preparatory School called Fontbonne : The Early College of Boston. Going to an all girls school was empowering because we learned about the equity gap amongst genders at a young age. I lived a very disciplined life while in High School, my day would consist of waking up at 6:30 AM as my dad and I would listen to the tune of cars beeping, NPR, and that beautiful purple/pink sorbet sky every morning on the drive to school. I enjoyed mornings with my dad , they were quiet and peaceful (mostly we aren't morning people), I would give anything to get one of those mornings back. Typically the average day would run from 7:45 AM until 2:40 PM ranging from Biology, Social Justice Courses, History (my favorite), and Literature class.
My Dad has been a lawyer for over 40 years, and I'd be fascinated in those car rides hearing him call his assistant to discuss certain cases. He has pretty much seen it all with specialities such as medical malpractice, personal injury, etc. It became clear to me that we both had the same mission, through different vehicles, and that was advocating for those that need it the most.
After school I’d be dropped off at my Grandparents house, and I’d hear my Grandfather on a phone call with a client. He was in his 90’s at the time, Pa worked for Fidelity and he was a part the multi-million dollar round table for closing deals in insurance for multi-generational families. Pa would call his clients on their birthdays, and remind them that they must update their policies. He’d get off the phone and look over at me and go “now that’s good customer service.” I must have filed that away, because I too call my clients on their birthdays. In a world of technology calling someone up on the phone is personal , and makes the other person feel important.
My Dad has been calling his clients on their birthdays ever since I could remember, he cared about making each client feel important. There is authenticity in being personable, and I've carried this value with me founding Fortify.
Following Ma and Pa’s house I’d head to dance class which was typically 30-35 hours per week. I trained at the renowned studio, The Gold School, and was accepted into the non-profit dance company “Project Moves” which toured the country bridging the gap between social justice and dance. At 14, I was dancing about body image disorders, gender equality, bullying, you name it. I found appreciation for my body through improvisation, and learned that bridging the gap between social justice and dance amongst young people promotes radical change. The impact that Project Moves had on my life ultimately gave me the courage during adversity to start a brand that would improve people’s lives. Following dance class my Dad had a rule that I had to go to bed immediately after class. Sometimes my dad would catch me under the covers working on my Algebra homework. I got really good at hiding the flashlight after a while. I truly loved school, I loved the structure, and I loved learning.
I knew being disciplined had an incredible ROI, not only would the grades show, but more importantly I'd feel a sense of pride in learning something new. My Dad demanded hard work, but he never had to force me to work hard. He led by example, and I followed with a clear trajectory in mind.
There was one class out of the entire four years at Fontbonne that felt impossible. I was an honor student, and yet Biology was another hill to climb. One afternoon my Dad went to a parent teacher conference where my Biology teacher said to my Dad “Bettina doesn’t belong here, she’s not doing well in Biology, she might do better at a public school.” Now I’m not sure his response but as a Father who is also an attorney for over 40 years, I’m sure we could use our imagination. I was close to failing biology, I had a D in that class. My Dad hired a tutor from a public high school that said the standard Biology class at Fontbonne was the equivalent to an honors Biology course in a public school. I spent every day following with my tutor, and to boot I would wake up extra early every day just to get extra help from that cranky Biology teacher.
My Dad refused much like most parents to ever apologize for advocating for his kid. When it came time to protect me and to speak up for me when I was being mistreated he always handled it with grace, patience, and strength. He made sure I went every morning at 7:00AM to this teachers classroom, because he didn't want me to quit. He showed me the true meaning of Fortitude, and what it means to overcome an obstacle even when others doubt you. As a Founder/CEO you have many obstacles , and those obstacles are just a hill to climb because I have been conditioned since I was young to lean into adversity with pride.
For some reason the biology teacher just didn’t like me, it didn’t matter I was getting A’s in every other class, this teacher wanted to make my life miserable. I won’t share his name, but I remember him wearing the same business casual tan pants, short sleeve suit shirt, these horrible suspenders from the 80’s, and a long pony tail. This teacher wanted to make me feel miserable, so I leaned into it , and tried harder. My Dad went and visited the Headmaster every morning after he dropped me off. Additionally, he began to get insight and perspective from every single one of my teachers. After a few weeks the administration knew they needed to pass me so they wouldn’t have to see my Dad every morning. They also knew that I was a stand up student , honor student, and being bullied by a grown adult.
During my senior capstone presentation I wrote a 30 page paper on Lack of Funding in Arts Education in Low Socioeconomic School Systems in Massachusetts, 100 hours of community service, and would present my research in front of the Board , Faculty and Students. I was so excited to present my capstone, and I did an excellent job receiving an A (almost a perfect score). The Biology teacher comes up to me after the presentation and says “so what’s your major in college?” I replied “Dance and Psychology .” He nodded and goes “I guess you won’t need much Biology, I will pass you.” You would have thought that we gave him a root canal because that phrase coming out of his mouth was torture for him. You could just feel it. I replied with “Thank you so much!"
During this time, when I was struggling my Dad described to me the first law firm he worked at in Boston, a big Law Firm, Sokolove Law. Right out of Law School he had his first case, and he was extremely nervous. The older prosecutor at the time saw him as a kid, and told him on the first day before the trial started "you aren't going to win, kid". My Dad went back and spent hours memorizing his opening statement, and every single cross examination question. Long story short he won, and as they left the court house the prosecutor gave him this glare. Instead of responding my Dad waved and smiled as he walked by. Showing up every morning to extra help was that wave for me, and every adversity since as I founded a start-up has been that wave. There has been rejections or of course moments when people say "you're too young", I smile and I say thank you then I go home and I work harder.
The truth is that my biology is built on work ethic, tenacity, grit, and of course Fortitude. I have been 26 years essentially in a master class on what it means to lead with Fortitude. Growing up individuals were shocked when they realized I wasn't going to law school to take over my Dad's law practice. However, the truth is I think we have the same mission, but through different mediums. We have a passion for advocating for others, using our voice to empower others, and in times of adversity working smarter to win. The fire within me to never give up was built on my Dad's discipline, everything from putting me into sports, teaching me to work harder even in the face of adversity, and standing up for those that need it the most.
Fortify Wellness is an opportunity to advocate for individuals that deserve to live better lives. Wellness should not be a luxury, but a necessity to create a strong foundation for the rest of our lives.
